The Hardship of the Holidays

The Holidays can be tough. A lot of the things we try to avoid thinking about can surface at this time. We can be met face to face with painful relationships or feel the heaviness of the absence of good ones we once had or wish we could have. It’s often a time to take stock of where we are in life in relation to where we think we should be. 

I get it and I have good practice of quietly dreading the holidays. I dread the loneliness of Christmas eve, wrapping and setting up the tree all by myself. If I’m tight in my jeans, I dread the judgement of my Grandmother. I dread the pity I receive for yet another year of not having a partner. I dread the anticipation of maybe having to tell my son that his dad isn’t well enough to see him. 

These feelings are real and worthy of acknowledging. I also know that it’s all about perspective and luckily perspective is something that with a little work can be shifted. In amidst the challenging moments there is still so much to be grateful for. Noticing these things helps to shift our perspective. I also make sure that we are doing a lot of activities that make us happy. The more time you spend doing things that bring you Joy, the more Joy you will feel.

If you are having a hard time feeling gratitude this holiday season you may try these two simple tools to help you shift. 

Set Your Vibration.

As soon as you wake in the morning, intentionally set your first thoughts to that of appreciation. You can appreciate your cozy bed, the beautiful sky, your hot coffee. 

Book of Positive Aspects.

At the end of the day write in your journal 3 things you appreciate. Could be that you appreciate the kindness shown by another, you appreciate your own resiliency, you appreciate a challenging situation that helped you to see something differently…


Posted: Dec 13 2017 in


  • Posted by Patti on December 15, 2017

    Thanks for this insightful message. Many of us are in a similar place where family holidays feel exclusive to some mythical embodiment of what that is supposed to be. I think your tips are really helpful and practical and I will adopt them too. Take care of yourself this season.

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